


never bargained for you

by estrella30



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 19:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/estrella30/pseuds/estrella30





	never bargained for you

Firstly though, I just saw these pics of Jared over at [](http://sn-daily.livejournal.com/profile)[**sn_daily**](http://sn-daily.livejournal.com/) that I'd never seen before and omg. I cannot stop _looking_ at them. I just - my god. Just LOOK at him!

 

 

omg. His SMILE. I just--it's like looking at the SUN he's so beautiful.

 

 

This is just...*brain fizzles* Im sorry. My functuniong is DONE for the day, thanks.

 

 

 

So, ok. There are the pictures. Now! Fic!

A little jsquared for Super Porn Sunday *g* (Though, it's more just slashy and porn _y_ than like, really graphic _porn._ That's coming tomorrow *g* 12,000 words of SEX but I'm still poking it and such today.) Many thanks to [](http://maygra.livejournal.com/profile)[**maygra**](http://maygra.livejournal.com/) for the insta-beta on this last night! Thank youuuuuu! *kiss*

 

 **Title** \- never bargained for you  
 **Pairing** \- JA/JP  
 **Rating** \- slash

 

 

 

 

_**never bargained for you** _

 

 

The first time it happens they’re both drunk and maybe more than a little stoned.

Jensen closes the bathroom door behind him. Takes a piss and washes his hands. When he opens the door again, Jared is standing there, smiling. He pushes Jen back inside and locks the door behind him.

Jared’s been acting weird all night. At first Jen thought that maybe he was imagining it all. It’s late and they’re all fucked up. Jen’s perfectly happy to chalk Jared’s long looks and weird pauses up to the case and a half of beer they managed to finish off between the four of them. Or maybe Mikey finally upgraded from the dirt weed. Who knows.

Jared though – Jared’s been _watching_ Jen with a look tonight he’s sure he’s never seen before. He thinks that maybe something’s wrong, but no, that’s not it. When Jared’s upset (which is hardly ever, but that’s not really the point), everyone knows it.

Jared mourns his losses the same way he celebrates his victories. With his whole body; relaxed and sprawled out. Or with his expression, open and honest. If he’s angry, Jared’s face will get pinched, his eyes dark and clouded. There’s no mistaking it when Jared’s got his panties in a twist over something. So Jen can tell when Jared’s happy or mad or sad or angry. He just _knows,_ and this--this is something different.

This is all long looks and serious eyes. Totally blank expressions and Jensen can’t figure out what the fuck to make of it.

The door closes. Jen can still hear the TV blaring out in Mike’s living room. There’s water on the sink and it’s soaking through Jen’s jeans where he’s leaning his hip against the counter. The floor mat is flipped up at the corner. He can feel it bump under his boot and he kicks it, trying to smooth out the edge.

Jared takes a step forward and hooks his index finger through one of the belt loops of Jen’s pants. Tugs him closer and smirks.

“You’re drunk,” Jen tells him.

Jared nods. “Uh huh.”

Jen goes to walk past and Jared shifts so he’s blocking the door. Jared never uses his size to his advantage, except for the times that he does. He’s never used it on Jen before though, and it pisses Jen off.

“Move, man,” Jen bristles. He shoves Jared’s shoulder with his own. Tries to push past and then Jared’s other hand is grabbing his shoulder and pulling him close. Jensen can feel the wallet in Jared’s pocket jab against his hip.

At least, Jensen thinks it’s his wallet.

“All right,” Jared says slowly. Each word enunciated with the care only someone who just drank nine Molson’s can manage. “I’ll move.”

And then Jared kisses him.

 

*

 

The first time Jensen met Jared, it was hardly a big thing. He’d known who Jared was from around the station. Hell, it was the WB. Everyone knew everyone and if they didn’t they just shrugged and said they did anyway. It was the WB. No one really gave a shit.

They read for their parts then decided to go out and get a few drinks. “After all,” Jared had said with a lazy grin. “If we’re gonna be brothers we should probably look like we at least know each other.”

Jared drank bottled beer; Molson or Corona. He ate cheeseburgers with mustard and ketchup both. He liked his wings with barbecue sauce instead of hot sauce.

Jensen drank dark tap beer. Mustard made him sick and when he ordered wings he usually got them as hot as they came with whatever ridiculous name the bar gave them. Atomic wings. Nuclear wings. Blow-your-mouth-up-and-set-shit-on-fire wings.

Sometimes when Jen got really drunk he’d have to wander out back and dig a half-stale cigarette out of his pocket. He’d smoke it only halfway down then toss it on the ground and put it out with the heel of his boot. When he’d go back inside Jared would make a face and tell him how smoking was a filthy habit and didn’t Jen’s momma ever teach him right from wrong. Jen would smack the back of Jared’s head and Jared would grin and kick Jen’s shin.

Jensen liked blondes, Jared liked brunettes. Jensen liked country music, Jared liked classic rock. Jensen never sucked dick, and Jared sometimes used to maybe once in a while hook up with a guy. _Not anything major,_ he told Jen. _Just—you know,_ and shrugged.

“Whatever. That’s fine,” Jen told Jared, cuffing him on the side of the head. Then he lifted his glass to his lips and muttered “Cocksucker,” around a smile.

Jared blinked for a second, then smiled back, his whole face lighting up with it.

“Fucker,” he said, shoving Jen’s elbow with his own.

Jen just grinned.

 

*

Nothing happens and nothing happens and nothing happens and then one day--

Something happens.

Drunk kissing in Mike’s bathroom is one thing. It’s quick and fumbling and weird and over in three point two seconds, never to be spoken of again. But this—this is different.

This is slightly less drunk making out on Jared’s couch. This is Jared turning his head and watching Jensen with eyes that look like they glitter. This is Jared tossing his Playstation remote down and crowding into Jen’s space with intent. This is Jensen thinking to himself, _I’m totally not gay and the kissing was weird the one time and we never mentioned it again but—what the fucking hell?—that’s Jared’s hand on my chest and what the fuck is he? Where’s it? And it’s moving and—_

“Whoa, hey,” Jen fumbles and pulls back.

“Jen,” Jared says thickly. “Jen, I wanna—“

And it’s too much, too fast, too _weird._ This is _him_ and it’s _Jared_ and when Jen stands up, he refuses to feel responsible for the shut-down look Jared gets in his eyes.

“This is fucked up,” he tells Jared. Jared pushes his hair from his eyes and stands up slowly.

“You’re right, you’re right.” Jared sounds tired, defeated. Jensen feels like the biggest shit to ever walk the planet. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. It’s okay.” He waits until Jared nods to say “So…” with his hands lifted palms up. _No gay here—sorry!_ “We’re good?”

He watches Jared steel himself. Watches the slight straightening of his shoulders. The way his jaw flexes and sets. The way Jared seems to be making a conscious effort to look relaxed as he sits back down on the couch (just slightly to the left from where he was sitting before giving Jensen full breadth of the No Gay Zone, apparently.) “You gonna sit down and let me finish kicking your ass?” Jared asks almost too casually as he unpauses the game.

Jensen’s TV Toyota is idling on the side of the road. He tries not to take it personally when Jared squints his eyes and bites his lip and presses the gas, aiming right toward Jen’s stalled car. Tries not to read too much into it when Jared steers his Mazda nose first into the Toyota’s trunk. The car flips to its side and skids up the grassy knoll in Grand Theft Auto-land.

There’s a metaphor in there somewhere, Jensen’s sure of it. He thinks he’s kind of glad he can’t really figure out what it is.

 

*

Jensen never really thought about this before, is the thing. He’s always fucked girls and liked it. Hell, he _still_ likes it. Just because now he’s been wondering—

It doesn’t matter what he’s been wondering. Jensen likes girls, end of story.

He likes everything about them, from their soft hair to their high, sweet voices. Jared’s hair is weird. Half the time it gets this funny cowlick in the front; Jen’s heard the hair and makeup people on the set complain about it enough. Jared just smiles and tells them he got his locks from his grandpa on his daddy’s side. He smiles when he’s saying it and man—they eat that shit up with a spoon half the time and just dump more goop in his hair to keep it from curling up in the wrong spots.

And Jared’s voice. It’s not soft or sweet or anything Jen ever wants to hear whispered in his ear. Just—not that it’s a _bad_ voice. It’s good enough for what Jen needs it for. To talk to after work when they’re relaxing having a few beers, or first thing in the morning when Jared calls Jen to make sure he’s up on time after a long night of drinking.

Not that Jensen sits around thinking about Jared Padalecki’s voice, for crying out loud.

Jensen likes _girls._ He likes the way they smell and feel under his hands. Likes the softness of their skin and the feel of their lips, slick with gloss against his. He likes the way they taste and the way they shiver and moan his name as he touches them.

There’s nothing special about the way Jared smells --

_\--except for sometimes when he wears that cologne that Jen really likes. The one that’s not as sweet; more like a spicy smell. Jen has to ask him which one that is._

He never touches Jared --

_\--except for maybe his arm or hand and even then Jen doesn’t notice how smooth Jared’s skin is. Jared’s wrists are bony, the thin skin covering his pulse always hot._

When Jared kissed him that time _\-- both times --_ it wasn’t like kissing a girl. Girl’s mouths are small--

_\--Jared had a wide mouth. Warm, wet mouth, and sharp teeth that bit at Jen’s bottom lip,_

\--and taste waxy with lipstick --

_Jared tasted like beer both times. Both times he kissed Jen they’d been drinking and Jensen could taste beer and salt and fruit on Jared’s lips, on his tongue._

When Jensen kisses girls he sides his fingers into their hair. Tilts their heads to the side and presses his mouth to theirs gently and—

_\--Jared kissed Jensen hard. Hard and rough and almost bruising, biting. It was the first time Jensen wasn’t the one in control and holy shit--part of him _liked_ it. Part of him _wanted_ to be held onto, held down. Told what to do and how to do it and Jesus, fuck. How did Jensen not know this about himself?_

Jensen was twenty-seven years old and never once in his life did he look at a guy and think: Man, I want to fuck _him._

Then again, Jensen never knew anyone quite like Jared.

 

*

When it happens, it’s Jensen’s decision. He waits until they’re both sober one night, which means it’s also early enough not to be misconstrued as anyone being tired or stoned or fucked up in any way.

They’re supposed to be going out. Jared’s all done up; button down shirt, nice jeans, boots. His hair is brushed and combed and he’s chewing a piece of gum, leaning against Jensen’s kitchen counter just smiling as easy as anything. Just standing there, grinning, his face relaxed and open and not having a clue in the world that Jensen’s having his own little sexual identity, mid-life-crisis-freak-out-before-he-even-turns-thirty right there in his kitchen.

The CD in his stereo switches. _Dazed and Confused_ plays from the speakers. Jared leans back and grins slowly. “Well, all right,” he drawls, and Jensen thinks that God and Robert Plant both have a fucked up sense of humor.

He takes a deep breath. Walks over until he’s standing close enough to Jared for there to be no mistaking his intention, which, naturally, Jared does anyway.

“Oh, hey. Am I in your way?” Jared asks as he steps to the side. “You need a glass or something—“

Jensen grabs Jared’s face and kisses him. It’s fast and awkward and when it’s over Jared looks at him like he’s lost his mind.

Jared blinks. “Jen. What are you—“

So Jen has to kiss him again.

It’s just like he remembered, but now Jensen lets himself really notice what’s going on. He lets himself think about it, think about how this is _him_ kissing _Jared_ and how this time it’s no accident.

Jensen angles his body so it fits against Jared’s better. He can feel the heat of Jared’s chest against his own. Jared slides his thigh between Jen’s legs and Jen gasps and moans and kisses Jared harder. He kisses Jared until their teeth bang and his lips throb and Jared’s stubble starts rubbing against Jen’s skin. And then he kisses him harder still.

It’s nothing Jen’s ever known. Nothing he ever thought about, nothing he ever expected. He can feel how hard Jared is against his hip. His own dick is pressed uncomfortably between the zipper of his jeans and his stomach, and all Jensen wants is Jared holding him down. Biting his skin, kissing his chest. Dragging his teeth along Jensen’s throat or belly or back or—

“Wait, wait.” Jared is panting and pulls his head back. His eyes are dark. He looks confused. “Jen. I thought you didn’t—“

“I was wrong.” Jensen wants more of Jared’s mouth. He leans in and bites Jared’s bottom lip.

Jared shakes his head. “But do you—“

“I don’t know,” Jensen tells him. “I just—“ he runs a hand through his hair and takes a small step back. He needs to make sure Jared understand this. That he _gets_ it. “I don’t know what I want or what I’m doing. I just—“ Jared tips his head down. He runs his thumb across Jensen’s eyebrow. Jen closes his eyes. “Show me,” Jen finally says, his mouth dry. He opens his eyes and licks his lips. “I want you to show me.”

When Jared touches his back, his hand is gentle. He pulls Jensen back up against him, and kisses the corner of his mouth. “Okay, Jen,” Jared whispers against Jen’s lips. “Okay.”

Jensen breathes out, knots his fingers in the back of Jared’s shirt, and holds on.

 

-end-


End file.
